And God created The French

God created Eve from one of Adam's ribs. But, as recent archeological evidence shows, he must have created a second couple shortly thereafter, which he named The French. We can only speculate about his motivation: it could be that God wanted to have a spare couple, in case Adam and Eve wouldn't live up to his expectations. Personally I prefer the hypothesis that Adam looked asymetrical after God had taken one of his ribs away, so that's why he decided to remove a second rib from the opposite side of Adam's chest. And God was standing there with this one extra rib in his hand. Being a frugal kind of guy, he just couldn't bare to toss it away. So that's how he got the idea to do the same trick again...

And (you guessed right) this act may have led God to take a rib away from the frenchman he just brought into this world, in order to create a frenchwoman! Think of it, this may ultimately be the explanation for the many varieties we find within the human species. God just couldn't stop - he went on and on and on, creating Americans, the Dutch, and even the Moonies.

Meanwhile Adamo and Barbarella, as the first french couple were named, started to grow grapes and produce excellent wine. Croissants and brie followed. Eventually they invented the now famous french cuisine, so that God could have nutritious and satisfying meals. God was getting a mighty big appetite from creating the world's population, you see, and he needed to relax, especially on Sundays. So that's why dinner and lunch became elaborate affairs with many courses and intermezzos. Conversation developed into an art. There was laughter, music and all sorts of diversions and entertainment. It's what we nowadays call joie de vivre. The rest of the story we all know. If it weren't for the french, there would have been no french toast, no french fries and no french kissing.

Anyway, during my research in the State of New York, I came upon this frenchman who clearly had an entirely different opinion about l'Amerique than the Eastern European immigrant in the previous video-taped interview.


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America, America...

For over 2 decades the US was my home.
People in Holland often ask me how it was to live over there.
Luckily I did my home work before I left.
From Ithaca, New York State, here is what
an Eastern European immigrant has to say...


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Homecoming

You can't go home again. But you can try!

Arriving at a Dutch train station, the first thing I noticed was this poster. War Victim. Persecuted by his past. Give him a perspective on a different future, it said. The photo shows a handsome black man - most likely a dancer - who covers his eyes with one hand. There isn't a trace of pain or suffering in his face. For all I know he's standing in front of his bedroom closet trying to decide what shirt to wear.

What's going on in Holland, I wondered. Did I miss out on a new media trend? Globalization perhaps? Could it be that similar posters showing war victims of every imaginable color and creed were hanging in train stations all over Africa? And if so, does this campaign consistenly use handsome models with athletic bodies to focus our attention on the psychological damage war inflicts upon its survivors?

I still had a lot of catching up to do!

The Immigrant

Once upon a time I left Holland, my native country... I was an adventurous young man then: a writer, a poet and a painter. Twenty-six years later I returned: a middle-aged man with a suitcase full of memories.

I had traveled the world. I had chosen my own path and I had followed my heart. I had even overcome the sadness and pain caused by an unfortunate coincidence: I was the firstborn son of a father who's entire family was slaughtered by the nazis.

Or so I thought...